Myth #2 - Our marriage will immediately fall apart once the affair is discovered. A honeymoon period occurs immediately after an affair is discovered. The passion and romance will temporarily increase but quickly fade because nothing has been resolved.

Myth #3 - There is always a specific reason an affair occurs. This is the first question the betrayed always asks. Why did you do this? There is usually no specific reason the affair occurred. There was proximity, an opportunity and an attraction to the third party.

Myth #4 - A happy marriage means my marriage is safe from affairs. Even happy marriages are vulnerable to affairs because the temptations are so great, particularly in the workplace.

Myth #5 - Men are usually the one who have affairs. This used to be true but the research shows that women are just as likely to have an affair as men. The ratio appears to be about 50/50.

Myth #6 - An affair means my spouse doesn’t love me. This is more likely for women than men because women are more likely to fall in love where a man may just be seeking the thrill of novelty and variety.

Myth # 7 - You should come clean and reveal all the details of the affair. The more details you give, the more traumatic associations you create for the betrayed. These details will haunt the betrayed and will come back to haunt you as well.

Myth #8 - You should seek the advice of family and friends. Family and friends will not be able to be objective. Although they are well-meaning, they are probably the ones who will give you the worst advice. You will need the help of a professional with training and experience.

Myth #9 - The one who was betrayed is at fault. It is the common excuse to blame the victim in some way. But if a person is unhappy and unfulfilled in a marriage, it should be brought to the spouse’s attention and professional help should be sought.